1 Never flirt or bribe.
I feel when women show some skin or someone tries to bribe me with money it insults my integrity, and that is a guaranteed ticket as well.
Article Continues after the joke
Three women are about to be executed for crimes.
Three women are about to be executed for crimes.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around.
She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did.
The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
2 Dont be an a$$hole.
You can tell someone is having a shitty day and maybe decide not to give the ticket. Just don't be an a$shole. You have no idea how often someone who wasn't going to get a ticket ends up getting one based on their attitude or arguing with me.
3 Dont give them crazy excuses.
Something like, yeah, it's possible I was going a little over the limit, I thought I was keeping with the flow of traffic will suffice.
4 Never admit to your violation.
Never admit to speeding because then they have to give you a ticket because you admitted guilt.
5 Keep your eyes to yourself
Dont stare at the officer in your side view or rear view. We notice this every time, it looks suspicious, and some officers will be more on the defensive
6 Politely suggest just getting a warning.
A simple, Would you consider giving me a warning? Worked many times. Signs count toward my monthly quota. If you admit to being guilty by saying, I wasn't paying attention; the speed got away from me, I'm going to write that in the notes section of the ticket for when I testify. That's my job.
7 Dont do anything to make them feel threatened.
Traffic stops have high potential to be dangerous. As a county police officer, a majority of my traffic stops are just to try and find someone with warrants for their arrest, narcotics or something else. If they are in the clear, I let the person go without issuing a ticket.
8 Dont be a diva.
Saying these things will never get you out of a ticket: Do you know who I am? My tax dollars pay your salary! I know the chief/the county executive/a judge. Don't you have anything better to do? Shouldn't you be out catching real criminals?
9 Wave when you see a cop.
He will either think that you know each other and wave back or will think that you're acknowledging that you were driving too fast, and are letting him know that you're slowing down
10 Know that your car says a lot about you.
You want to say I'm a reasonable and law-abiding, not I hate the police, speed, and I'm trying to hide something from you.
