A bloke goes into a baker’s and asks for three pork pies. The assistant picks the pies up with a pair of tongs and puts them in a paper bag.
The man then asks for three strawberry tarts and the assistant picks up another pair of tongs and puts three tarts into a bag.
“I must compliment you on such impressive hygienic standards,” said the man.
Article Continues after the joke
Once there was a magical mirror
Once there was a magical mirror.
When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever.
One day three college girls went to the mirror.
The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one."
Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world.
The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one."
Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money.
Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*"
Then she suddenly dissapearred forever
“Thank you,” says the assistant. “We’re very careful not to touch any of the food.”
Just as the man is leaving the shop, he notices a piece of string hanging from the assistant’s trousers.
“Excuse me, what is that piece of string?” he asks.
“That’s used when I go to the toilet. So that I don’t touch my penis. I pull it out with the string,” says the assistant.
“But how do you put it back?”
“Oh, I use one of these pairs of tongs.”
